I cHooSe

To live my life by choice, not by chance

To make changes, not excuses

To be motivated, not manipulated

To be useful, not used

To excel, not compete

I choose self-esteem, not self pity

I choose to listen my inner voice,

not the random opinion of others.

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sometimes

sometimes 

I just feel everything and nothing all at once

sometimes

I find myself smiling while missing something at the same time

sometimes

I love and hate at the time

and now I realize

life is no guarantees

except the smile --> brighten our face

except the laugh --> enhance our eyes

except falling in love --> change our life 

(",)

Missing badly

this is how our relationship

and this is my feeling right now

i am sure that i really miss you

and

i feel like to cry whenever 

the feeling of missing is killing me softly :(

Romantic story

the most romantic story ever not Romeo and Juliet

died together

but

my grandpa and grandma grew old together

miss u kukung and popo... mmuuuuaaxxx

Time machines

we all have our time machines

some take us back

and they called it memories

some take us forward

and they call it 

dreams

i miss all the sweet memories

and now 

i'm looking forward to achieve my dreams (",)

decision

one of my friend will getting married this year..

probably on December..

and she asked me if i can be her 

bridesmaid..

and i don't know what to say to her..

still not gave her answer yet..

i know the post actually goes to her late sis but god love her more..

God bless her late sis.Amen.

Ode to all

keep the one who's keeping us..

let go the one who's letting us go..

cos' everything happens for a reason..

and if something happens not according to our wishes, don't moan..

adjust and move on!

Worried

As my post titled above, I am worried right now.

Really and really worried.

What can I do for now is pray, pray and pray.

Hope nothing bad happen to him.

Yes! I am worried bout Mr.Bf since I got his msg this morning.

He told me he went fishing. When I try to call back the hp already off.

Why must fishing? I'm not mad bout his hobby but u know..

Since tsunami attacked Japan and all peoples around the world warned by this disaster..

He still choose to do fishing in this weekend.

God, please protect him wherever he goes. Amen

Just the way I am

No matter how ugly I am or how everyone else around me look better than I am, there's always be that one special guy that loves me because I'm not like everyone else.. 

Thank U, Mr.Bf for accepting me for who I am

--> I am blessed to know U ^^

I said ....

You may not be his/her first, last or the only. 

But, if he/she loves you now, what else matters??

That's what I felt for now.

He's not perfect and me either, and the two of us may never be perfect together

but 

if he can make me laugh, cause me to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, why do I want to let this person go from my life??

I know, he may not be thinking about me every second of the day

but

calling me before he off to work and let me know when he safely reach home are enough.

So, I promised to myself 

not to hurt him (i'll try my best^^)

not to change him (except his bad habits :P)

not to analyze and not to expect more than he can give.

Readers out there, laughter will be best medicine, silent will always be the best revenge and LOVE will always  be all we need^^

Sanguine Thoughts

Sometimes Most of the time, I think peoples around me are hard to understand. For me they are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

If I'm kind to others, they accuse me as selfish and ulterior motives. If I be honest and frank, people may cheat me. If I find serenity and happiness they might jealous.

And if and this "if" thingy happen all the time plus continuously I might be THE END.

So, I decided to forgive them anyway, be kind to them anyway, be honest and frank anyway, and always be happy even I know sometimes it's hard to do :P

Readers are u agree with me if I said this??

• If we successful, we will win some false friend and some true friend, aren't we? So be succeed anyway.
• What we spend years to build, someone may destroy it in overnight, am i? 
• The good we do today often forget by tomorrow,right? So stay good anyway.
• We give the world the best we have but it's seems never enough, right? So, give the world the best we got anyway ^^

See, guys.. In the end it is all about ourself,right? To be good, to be successful, to be happy and even to be worst it's all about us. Only us ourself can decorate the pattern of ourself. So come join me. Let us try our best to be positive in thinking and also our attitude.. :)

Laugh

forget what hurt us in the past

but

never forget what it taught us (",)

and

always laugh when we can

cos'

it is cheaper than medicine (",)

Pre Valentine Message

   Tomorrow is 14th February and it's known as Valentine's Day. Although I'm not a person who like to celebrating V'day, I would like to wish Happy Valentine's Day to my families, mr.bf, friends and all my readers out there. For me, everyday is valentine. We don't need to wait 'til the date (14.02) to come to show our love. And for me also, Valentine is not only for couples. It's for everyone. Not only for an adults but for the kids too. Love is for everyone cos everyone's need love. Without love there's no peace in this world. So, lets love each other. No war.

But, I'm a bit disappointed because some of the peoples misunderstood with this V'day. Why so racist bout it? If u don't like ur people to celebrate the V'day then I understand. But why blame my religion?? Did ur religion teach u peoples to hate others? No, right. So, do us. 

Peace, no war.

Drives me crazy

The minutes when I'm alone, just me and my pillow I used to think a lots. Think about everything and anything.

It varies from "What am I doing with my life?" to "Owh my gosh, why I texted like that??".

The room is so cold and silent but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, I think about.

Sometimes Everytimes, I hate it. Because it brings up things that I don't want to think! And I always try not to think much but I couldn't help my brain from thinking bout it over and over again.

 I do really hate those time because it bring me to the uninvited thoughts.

The split second before sleep is the most active second in my life! It's so true, right?

Hold on a lil bit more

Just because we failed once, doesn't mean we're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying and believe in ourself even it is hard :)  There's always one thing we hate but we cannot change it, that one mistake we can't take back. And, that one memory we would do anything just to have it again - LOVE.

And relationship is not about how we feel, but more about how we deal with it. Let go our egos and let love rules our life^^

 

Distance

far in distance, but near at heart

how i wish u were here

or

how i wish i could be there with u

but distance kept us apart away for a while

sometimes i miss u so damn much

and

all i can do is thinking of u

PMS

love m
love e
i combined it be
love me
huhu~
I am emo rite now!
I hate U PMS!
please go go away..

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Happy Thaipusam 2011

Happy Thaipusam + Happy Holiday
to my readers
( I got reader or not??? ~ pretend I have one reader.. sigh )

Thaipusam is an Indian festival.
It's a celebration for the son of Shiva.
There are two famous places in Malaysia where this festival celebrated.
That's in Batu Caves KL and on Penang.
Every year during Thaipusam many devotees and also visitors may throng the caves
( I wish I can go )..

Miss Rabbit vs Mr Dragon

2011 are year of the rabbit and this is my year because I was born in 1987 (I am 24 now!!!!)
According to my read people whom born in a year of Rabbit has this traits

1. Creativity (I don't have this trait :( )
   
2. Compassion ( Oh yeah )
   
3. Sensitivity ( Of course I am super sensitive )
4. Friendly ( I guess so )
   
5. Outgoing ( Mmm,yeah it's me )
   
6. Hate conflict ( I am )
   
7. Shy ( Hahaha I doubt bout this )
   
8. Hate to be center of attention ( Totally agree )
   
9. Love reading (My hobbies since kiddy )
   
10. Love watching movies ( (",) )
    
11. Conservative ( I need to agree bout this too )
    
12. In relationship tend to give more ~ giver person (Mr.Bf u're lucky enough to know me^^ )
    
13. In career, make excellent diplomats & politicians. Other job that suit for Rabbit are: Therapist, Doctor, Actor, Teacher, Fashion Designer, Writer. ( I wonder could I be a good Occupational Therapist :( cos I really not into this kind of work huhu)

I am a Fire Rabbit and because of the fire it's add spark on my personality. It make me prone to tantrums but I prefer to avoid conflict. So, I zipped my mouth and prefer to watch only ^^

Why I put dragon above?? Because Mr.Bf born in dragon year.
And according to my read, dragon traits are:

1. Dominance
   
2. Ambitious
   
3. Unafraid of challenge
4. Willing to take risk
5. Passionate
   
6. Prefer to be alone
7. Sometimes temper
8. In relationship, if they find the right person, they'll commit to that person for life

Because Mr.Bf born in 1988, he is Earth Dragon. Earth dragons make better decisions because they act more rationale. They also can control their behaviors and likely to support others.

Sadly,the compatible between both signs are not so good :(
According to chinese-astrology, Rabbits are advise to stay away from Tigers, Roosters, Dragons and Horses.
How can I to stay away from Mr.Bf????

My Days

Day 6!

I count my exercise routine because I can't wait the result!
Hahahaha~
I heard some people who I think envied with me said I am too late to exercise or
even teasing me and roommate No Civic Awareness before.

Who cares,right? What I know my aims are not far away from me now^^
Yeah! Slim before Mr.Rio & Ms.Ida's big day (",)

Besides jogging, I also monitor my food intake everyday.
No more dinner time for me.
Junk food??? --> Oh gosh! I can't runaway from U :(
Now, I strictly only take a cup of tea as my breakfast..
And
Of course diet diet diet are always on my mind ;)

To stop thinking bout food I make my days busy with my Mr.lappy..
--> Fb'ing
--> Twitting
--> Blogging
--> Movies

P/s: Thanx to Mr.Bf coz bought me new external.. Now Mr.lappy can breathe smoothly^^

I am Me

I used to feel like I wasn't good enough for people.
Then, I noticed what did people actually think is being good nowadays???
Being slutty?
Being stupid?
Being unoriginal?
Being easy?

***
I'm happy enough I don't fit in any of those categories.
Or may be some of the time I need too or force to be one of those crappy person :(
I don't care if people don't think I'm good enough for them.
But actually I do care if I already all out to be good for them.
-I'm just human-
Try being good even not >.<
But whatsoever words I try to explain it I am ME and always be ME..
Even I add or minus peoples around me the answer always ME

An update..

Ahaks!
It's new year! 2011..
Meaning to say, my age will and totally increase 1 year older huhu..
I am 24 years old soon..
(Mum & Dad -->I 'm grown up already kan^^.. bule kawen sda wkakakkaa)
Haish! The feeling are still younger what <-- am i gettin' old day by day?? :(
OK! stop the nonsense and let's rolled what happen or my events during Dec and early Jan~

18th Nov 2010 - back to hometown
7th Dec - big party throw ed to Ms Fesly a.k.a Girl on her birthday^^
8th til 12th Dec - Duvanson --> Inanam --> Sandakan --> Ranau --> Inanam --> Duvanson
13th til 17th Dec - busy doing my research --> visit PDK
19th Dec - steamboat with my gondoot cuzzies^^ at Windbell Tg.Aru
21st Dec - Mr.Bf came back from Labuan
22nd Dec til 24th - dating time ^^ with Mr.Bf plus our bodyguards Mr Hart & Ms Bb, Ms Eton & Ms Montot^^
25th - 26th Dec- xmas party at Popo's house
27th Dec - movies time with Mr.Bf, Mr Betto, Ms Eton & Montot (got xmas present from Mr.Bf~ thx d^^)
28th Dec - outing with Mr.Bf. We went to Papar + visit Mr.Bf's chief officer house
29th-30th Dec -babysit my babies --> Mr Mori & Mr Michiro ( damn! miss them so much)
31st - 1st Jan - celebrate new year at Mr.Bf's house --> 1st time met with his families (thx for accepting me^^)
On the 1st Jan - My cuz,Ricky get engaged with his love one --> Ms Sarah
2nd Jan - My uncle,Mr Melbert get engaged with Ms Gillian..
Congratz to them and welcome to our family^^

After all, my new resolution for this year --> jogging & dieting hahaha^^
During i post this, my jogging routine just start ^^ but my dieting programme not started yet :)