I miss U

Just finished chit-chat with Mr.Bf. And honestly the 1 and a half hour is not
enough to heal the missing attacked huhu..
Since, mr.Bf will go offshore by tomorrow we decided to do more
on calling and also texting..
But really, I still miss U.
huhu~
Can't wait for xmas^^

Gothic Grey

Nah!!!!! Here they are.. My new lens^^
Welcome to my lens collection Grey Gothic..

Seeeeeee....I like this lens cos the ring not so clear.
So it is look natural to me. And guess what.
When you wear it, your eyes look blue^^ and also hazel green^^
Naaahhhh! X menyesal sy beli owhhhhh ekekekeke^^

My collection???
No!!!!
See the degree lor.. different each pairs..
This is lens booked by my friend..
Success jg bisnes sy hahaha^^

Monday Blues

Viva!!!
Damn! I got MR questioned. And can't answer it well..
Huhu~ Sakit jiwa!

What else???
MMMMM... yeah my lens already safely arrived to my hand..^^
But I am too lazy right now to take and upload the pics.
Maybe later yaaaa...

Damn!

Damn!
Celcom line totally make me sick!
Arrrrggghhhh! Though here in KL my line is ok cos I can call and sent msg to my roommate but
I can't call or sent msg to mr.Bf.
I know you worried dear but what can I do..
Line celcom at your place is totally damn suck!

P/s: Why celcom??? Why??? Sdh lar mr.Bf maw p offshore sudah huhu.. wwwwuuuuuuaaaaahhhh

My Fwen during exam week

This is my source of energy all night long during my exam week!
Soya bean and Mr. mineral water^^
Ngeeeee~
and of course my lappy and my hp^^
If all those things not in my table then my study time not complete huahuahua@@
Oooopppss! Lupa mention si Mr.Kuaci & Mr.Kismis^^

Latest collection

Why I post this pic???
Because I bought it^^ hehe..
I am addicted to online shopping especially lens :)
This is my latest collection of lens. Gothic Grey.. and If you want the same lens like mine
do contact me ekekeekeke^^ --> mcm dealer lens plak kan..

Don't worry I can give cheap price ^^
This one???? Hmmmmmm.. RM38 only compare to other dealer..
hehe^^

Shopping!!

Shopping!!!!!!
Warghhhhh!!! My gosh.. My mind full of idea goin shopping only!
Exam??? Huhuhu don't have mood to take exam..
I'm taking granted of my only 2 papers for this semester..
Punya lar hehe.. Klu pandai xpa jg ekekeke

Shopping! Shopping! Shopping!
Money! Money! Money!
I'm singing it loud hahaha~
LoL!

Don't have mood

I don't have mood to study!!!
Help me!
Aiyo! Tomorrow is my 1st paper but til today I didn't open yet my notes even a book to revise.
Oh please! Where all my study soul go???
Huhuhu~ come back baby... Really need you.
How i wish there is no exam..^^
Of cos' all students around the world agree with me ekekeke
Yay!

Another 4 days^^

Another 4 days to go.
Anything can happen within this days but I cannot tolerate with my feelings anymore.
The feeling of impatient and the feeling of freedom is everywhere^^.
I swear to God, this is the moment that I waiting since I came here.
I am regret of choosing here.
But looking back in this couple of months I very thankful to all therapist here.
Because of them, I discovered that I am not ready yet to handle pediatrics case.
I discovered that I don't like kids! So how lar this... matai if ada anak sendiri huhu
Maybe it is true that I am suit to handle burn cases, because my own attitudes.
I don't like to talk with others, I do like to focus on my task only.
What else I discovered here?
I am average girl in and out (that's the fact)
I am improving in my own ways ( of course lar^^)
I can handle my own feelings ( wkakakakaka! not really)
No hatred to others (really??? Phuuuuiiii i am good in camouflage what)
Close to God (yeah! I have faith on you)
Close to my families ( everyday I called them to complaint^^)
Close to mr.Bf (everyday he gave me a positive thinking)
and of course
I am so very closed with my blog! (tempat meluahkan segalanya hehehe^^)

Stop

I don't like peoples to look or watch my every single step because I don't like attention.
I am not an attention seeker!
Again.. NOT ATTENTION SEEKER OK!
So stop interfere in my life.
I'm just an average girl who had her own personal space!
And I do really care of my own business.
I don't care your business but why must you disturbed mine?
Stop annoying me!
Do you think you're perfect enough to spoke out on your own?
So, if you perfect enough then make your own way, don't try to bother others especially mine.
Eye Contact?
Oh,please! Who are you til I want to make an eye contact every time we had conversation?
I don't care if you said I have poor eye contact.
Did it disturbed you life? NO,right? So stop behave like a perfectionist in front of me.
Don't talk without thinking!
So pity on you. Sometimes you make a jokes about yourself by reflected others.
Poor you!
Very irritated when you make a jokes about others. I wonder...
You want others to respect you, but please.. take a mirror and look yourself first before talking bad like that.
You are such a !@#$%^&****! With full arrogant attitude.
There's no meaning if I want to respect you.
Not worth it!

Cannot Wait

I cannot wait til next week!
Why? Because I want to go back or the fact reason is I want to run away from this hell.
I really don't like this place so much. So annoying and irritating.
Gosh! Just because I am student a.k.a trainee, I'd been entertained like a rubbish!
Damn! Really hypocrite to be here.
This is me. I only talk when I need too. And I only respect to the person who respect themselves and others.
But in this case, I NEED to respect you just because you are my superior.
How powerful if you have power a.k.a superior?
I promise to my self I will not entertain like you did to me to my junior or trainee under me in the future.
I wish I can be a good therapist in the future. Not a specialist one, but I just want to be the human being therapist.
Stop with the wish!
I can feel the time is running so slow. Haish!
Why you so slow? I wish I be in KL this weekend.
How I wish that.
Only my body here, but my soul already packed her things and back to KL...
Wuuuuuuaaaaaaa.. So kejam!
I don't care about my marks anymore.
Cos I know, I already did my best and all out for my self.
And still if you gave me a low marks then I feel sorry to you.
To jealousy with others. And it will return to you one day!

Suffered!

Hahahaha!!
Did u understand what my title's mean today? Lame!
Actually it's been a week i try to post this title but i don't have the contents yet.
So, what I want to share today is my life as a student and my suffering to be a student.
hahaha!! So funny lar me..^^
OK! Why I said I am suffered as a student?
There's a lot of reason. Whoever ever be a student knows the reason.
And actually it's the same reason for the most student.
Let me list down what's make me suffered.

1. Assignments - of cos lar kan we hate this especially when the due date is come
   
2. Exam - i hate this! but at the same time i like it hahaha.. it make me did my job as a student
3. Practical - love it if the place is ok and hate it if i got !@#$%^ superior
4. during practical @@@@@

• case study
• reports
• interview
• therapist-trainee relationship
• group activity
• home visit/school visit
• PRESENTATION

Actually i want to jot down everything that make me suffered. But enough for this time.
I will explain it in my next post. Hopefully!

Time Mx

Today is 23rd Oct and that's mean I still got 12 days here and minus the weekend
I would like to say here I got another 9 more days to see and to face that women face!
So happy when I count the days.
But still, I am worried because this coming Monday is my OSPE exam.
And this is my first time to take it.. huhu--> nervous tahap dewa nie
Besides my exam, I still need to face 1 more case presentation after yesterday's presentation.
I might said, yesterday presentation most ok in my case presentation since I came here.
I admit there was a lacking idea in my presentation but
I am student ok! Don't expect too much from me even I am 3rd year student.
But this is my 1st time handle with pediatric cases.
So please my dear superior..
Please understand my place!

Another things to worry is to submitting case study.
Imagine, I need to send 4 case study in 4 weeks I am here.
Meaning, every week I need to send one to my LP.
Gosh! How I want to focus with one case and understand it?
If I sent to simple, then you complained me..
If you want me to learned more, then why don't you give me time?
You only know to said "Time Management".
I know what the meaning of time management.
But did you think we got enough time to do all the stuff that you want?

• 4 Case Study different diagnose

• 2 Case presentation

• 2 Group Activity Individual handling with patient more than 10 person

• 1 adaptation tools that cannot be bought in shop

• Report every day cases

• OSPE

If like this then we will die first before submit all the task you want.
Every day we don't have enough rest and sleep.
Even at noon, we don't go out to take our lunch because we want to finish all stuff that you want us to finish it.
And if we came to department with the tired face, then you blame us.
We are human as yourself!
We know how the tired felt!
We are human not a robot. Even a robot also can broke if they don't have rest.
So do we!
Imagine! Every day we need to handle more than 7 kids that have behavioral problems.
Why don't you understand us? You also ever be a student like us?
Why don't you have sympathy on us?

Please God, give us strength. Guide us in proper way.
Bless us in every step that we go. No matter what, we have faith on you,God.
Please be with us (me and roommate)
AMEN

Laze

I went to Ipoh Parade today with Veron, Ahyong and Ishak..
Roomate not followed us because she want to rest due to hectic day on Friday.
For the 1st time, on Friday night since we came here, we went out and hang out til midnight.
Thanx to Nad for her sympathy on us hahaha..
Ishak statement "10 tahun akan dtg bru sy tbeli keta nie" (^^)
On Friday night we went to Jusco, fetched by Nad around 8.15pm.
After that we went on rooftop bowling and had a match between 6 of us.
Me, roomate, Ishak, Nad, Bakri and Wan.
We played in 2 games.
1st game won by Bakri and the 2nd game lead by me.
I got my luckiest day if not I'm gonna be Ratu Longkang that night.
The title goes to Roomate and the king's title goes to Wan.
Ok!
That night also, Veron and Ahyong came here from Sg.Buloh.
They arrived around 11 something.
And this morning, me and roomate moved to another house.
Thanx to Veron for helping us!
Very appreciate it.
What I want to complained bout our new house?
No aircond! No bathroom inside our room! No heater
That's why we missed our old house..
But why I like here?
Because we got big room and we have our own balcony ^^
And here also got line for 3G....

Another Hate

Just woke up from sleep.
And roommate continue her sleep after I asked her to do so.
I know we in a same boat. But I salute her because she can manage her stress very well.
Not like me. I need to admit that my coping skills is very poor.
Everytime the stressful hitting me, what can I do just blame myself and cry.
That's the only way that I found can make me calm.
I know it's wrong, but I need to admit that I followed my own flow.
That's the only way I can gain my own strength. The way I found myself calm.
The way I give sensory input to my brain.
The way I make myself keep on thinking.
Keep on aware.
Keep on hating this place.

There's a lot of work waiting for us.
But can I blame ourself not to do that?
Our body, mind and spirit are totally damn tired.
We need to re-energize them..
We need a rest.
Maybe a week of holiday.
Maybe a short time of practical.
Maybe a few works only.
Maybe a changeable placement.
Maybe a switching therapist in charge.
Or
Maybe it's time for us to go back to college...
I wish I'm in college right now.
Attending my class. Listen to my tutor mumbling in front.
Watching my friends sleeping while classes.
Re-join my buddies laughing and teasing each other.
How I love being around them.
How I love being secure.
Not here!
Not in this place I called Hell Placement!
Not here!
Place that I can't found my security and trust.

Silence

Sometimes silence speak louder than words!
But for me my silence is everything.
It's help me to tell the person of everything. That why I know the power of being silence.
By silence, I can tell people
* I don't like her/him
* I hate YOU
* I am mad
* I don't have mood
* I'm not interested at your stories
* You're boring person
* I am speechless
* I don't have idea
* I'm respecting you
and probably
I am a Good Listener ^^

P/s: But here in Ipoh I'd been silence because I don't felt the sense of security. I kept silence because I am nobody, I am fooled by surrounding and I hate to be here with most of the peoples here. They are such a good manipulative peoples..--> Talam 2 muka paling annoying

Hatred

I just had a long conversation with my mum and dad thru phone.
I know I make them sad and worried bout me here.
I just can't stand too long, and I burst out. I cried and cried.
I don't know how to start a conversation with them.
Even one words or even a hello.
Everytime I called them, I will cry.
That's why I hate to call home.
They asked me to be patience here.
I wish I can too but with this situation even others also can't stand with it.
How I hate this girl. Too fragile in and out!
Couldn't stand too long, couldn't face a challenge.
I am sorry daddy.
I am sorry mummy.
I cannot make both of you proud.
I just can make both of you worried bout me.

Block

My mind is block!
No way out. Just a narrow way to death place.
How i hate this kind of mind.
Agak2 lar klu nak datang..
Time org practical time tue lar otak nak shutdown.
If shutdown 1 ari ja xper lar jg.. Nie da dekat seminggu!
Da smpai tahap kena label budak bodoh lar plak!
God, i know everything happen got reason.
But why u give me this at this moment?
What actually u want me to learn?
Please.... I'm begging u..
I can't stand it anymore.
Please bring me out.
I give up.
Totally!

Why?

I can't stand anymore! Even in a few minutes..
I really2 cannot accept all this kind of challenge that you give me,God.
Please.. Let me free from this kind of place.
I really2 feel like there's no one here really can help me.
So much misery. So much tears. So much hurting.
God, please listen to me..
Pleaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee I beg on you...
This place really kill my soul.
I am lost! Kinda lost and cannot find my way home.
3 weeks is enough for me.
I really don't need 1 months to learn from this place.
I rather choose die than alive if u give me a choices.
Why not you take me away?
Why must u test my soul?
Why me?
WHY?

thank Q

Thank You Soooooo Much To You my dear supervisor..
U make me cry again and again. By the way, I want to admit I'm not like you. I'm not as smart as you. But whatsoever don't ever called me stupid cos u might get it one day. Maybe not u but ur family!
Don't ever try to heat me up. Cos u might regret it.
Do whateva u like. Say whateva u want. Act whateva style.
But watch ur step. U might fall and never get up.
I promise u!
Thank Q!

Nothing

I just came back from a nearby shop. And on the way home, I went to 7E and then drop by to stall to bought Benjo burger hahaha^^ Since I study in KL, I learned a lots of thing especially the food here..
Let start with Nasi Dagang, Nasi Kerabu, Nasi Kukus and so on...
Plus, went I am in Kedah I really2 enjoy the food there. Since, I stayed with my foster family I totally gained weight. Imagined in 1 months I almost heat 58kg huahuahua... Punya lar sandi!
Even I said to Mama I want to diet but she always said "Thieya, x kesian ngan mama ker? Mama penat masak tp xder saper nak makan. Nanti Thieya balik kl x dpt rasa masakan mama.." huhu.. What else I can do besides eat all the food.. haha.. --> How I miss Mama's cooking right now huhu..
Ayam masak merah, Udang sambal tumis, Ketam berkuah, Ikan panggang, and the one my favourite is Mee Kari.. I swear! Mama's mee kari is the best in the world. I can eat more than 5 times hahaha -->punya godoot nie anak kan^^ Plus, I met and know this person--> Kak .... huhu sorry I forgot ur name but I still can remember ur face..
I still remember the moment when we went to ur house,kak.. Punya lar sedap itu ikan ntah apa2 hehe.. but is so nice and now it make me drooling nyum nyum..
Ok! Stop talking bout food. It make me more hungry right now..

* Roomate said to me just now.."Thieya,u know everywhere we went to one place we met and knew new person kan?" And I just paused a while and think bout it. Then I realized it's true.
Like just now. I can talk and have a conversation with the 7E workers like we already know each other since a years.. hahaha.. lawak if i tell the whole story here.. No need to share lar..

WTF

When people said you're stupid what do u feel? or what is your reaction? Of cos mad,rite?
Same goes here. I am mad when I heard this person said like that to me. But after think it wisely, then maybe i need to admit that i am a stupid person. Not because i'm not study ( as the person refer me too) but because i have problem to remember all the topic inside my bo0k!
What do u expect from me? Hafal 1 buku then tell u everything? WTF! I do respect u, but only if u respect me too. After a month working with u, I realize there's no respect for u. U not fit with my criteria of respect!
Hey! One thing. Don't look for me if u need a praise. And don't think that I will follow whateva u said. Maybe I am quiet person, but i am a good observer. And I am very good when came to instinct games! Watch ur step, my dear. Cos I am 1 step closer to u.. And please stop looking at me. Cos I know u don't want it too.
Macam sial ja kan klu tgk muka sy. So, as u wish. Go ahead..
Ingat sy suka sgt tgk muka ko. X payah lar tgk.. Nnt btambah dosa ko.
Yelar.. asal tgk muka sy ja, confirm hati da meluat and mula lar nak myumpah dlm ati..
Kan tambah dosa lar tue..
But apa2 hal pun, sy nak ucap sori byk2 sbb wat ko dissapointed.
Sy jg nak ckp thanx byk2 sbb tunjuk ajar ko slama sebulan nie.. Minta maaf byk2 sbab otak sy x blh trima input yg ko bg..BUKAN SALAH KO TP SALAH SY!
minta maaf ek..
sbb sy x layak jd trainee ko.
dan sy pun sbnarnya sgt2 lar menyesal datang kat cni and ,menjadi trainee ko.
sy bharap sgt2 cpt2 lar masa blalu..
sy nak balik kolej..
sy dah x sggup bdepan ngan perangai auta ko tue.. d tambah dgn hal politik korg yg meningkan kepala sy ja..

Okukuro kou noh koupusan

I was listening this song sang by Francis Landong "Okukuro Konoh Koupusan" and I keep on repeating it. I am not boring when I heard this song. I don't know why. Maybe because the rhythm is so touching for me lar --> sign symptom i'm missing someone huhu..
I don't know what this Dusun song meant for.. maybe "how are you,love".. I am kadazan but honestly I really2 not expert in this language.. but some of the words I know the meaning but I just don't know how to talk in kadazan.. shame on me :(
Ok! Let me quote a few lyric and I try my best to translate from my very own understanding^^

• okukuro ko koupusan (how are u love)
  
• ososogigit kou noh daa (hope u r fine)
  
• daa ko poh kumaa dogo (???)
  
• ososonong oku ii ( im also fine)
  
• totuong osongulunanku (alone in the night)
• oipii koginavan ditoo (dreaming of our love)
  
• koruhang oku do modop (accompanied me to sleep)
  
• momolingos langad ku dikaa ( treat my feeling of missing u)
  
• oipii ku iika koupusan sinta ( i'm dreaming of u)
  
• mulongpiat poh ii posik oku (????)
  
• sundung sopii sonduu opurimanan ku id doros ku (even we r far away i feel u near)
  
• koupusan okukuro koh noh (love how r u)
  
• totuong id toloid (in the night)
  
• osogit opurimananku (i felt cold)
  
• sogit tongus tongotuong ( cold by night wind)
  
• imang poh sorou dikaa ( want to think bout u)

*hahaha.. i don't know if it correct but based on my understanding this is the result^^

Correct me

Correct me if i am wronged!!!!
No need to teased me cos I know where is my limit.
I know I'm not good in theory so do in my practical.
I am blurred with everything. I got panic attack since I was kid.
So, how I want to change it?
I admit I am nervous and I don't like peoples look at me when I'm doing my work.
Especially stared at me. All my worked seems clumsy and ugly from the very start u looked at me.
I don't need attention from others. Cos' I am an ordinary person with no specialty.

Honestly, this is hard for me! Totally!!!
Tension tahap dewa i tell u!
WTH!
Deep inside I want to cry. Cry out loud. But I can't! I need my family. I need my baby.
I need God. Arrrrggghhhh!
Please help me!
I can't stand it anymore. This 3 weeks killing me hardly.
No sleep time. No leisure. No pamper time...
I want my old days!
Luckily, I remember my family hopes..
Just be strong my dear self.. U can do it.
U can go thru in God's willing..
Just have faith on God and urself.
Amen~

God

I was touched when i saw this couple who have kids that's not normal like other kid. Their son diagnosed as CP spastic quadriplegia and daughter got this kienfield syndrome (if im not mistaken) plus cleft palate. I know deep down their heart they sad because of their life. Could u imagine as a parent and ur children is not normal and the rest of ur life ur child need u, totally dependent. How sad! Even when they make a jokes even laugh together their heart are broken into the pieces everytime they look at their child.
Im lucky enough because i was born as a normal person. Even though i am ex premature baby, i still survive and grow as a normal kid with a normal development..
Lucky enough, that i don't have those kind of condition.
I was touched when i look at this unlucky kids. Im trying my best to give my best to them.
Everytime they show some improvement even head up their head without support, i was too happy for them.
God, help me through all this things. I want to help them.
But I know I was weak during this practical. I'm losing myself.
Cannot control my mind even my own self.
I am out of my mind every time I make a moved..
And I know I bring together my family hopes and dreams.
I don't want to let them down..
God Help me... AMEN

Miss ya^

1 am in the morning and i still sitting in front of my lappy doing my CS presentation. i thought it simple just copy and paste from Microsoft Word to Power Point but im wrong. too much modification that i need to do to make it superb presentation hahaha^^ hopefully i can make it true! ~ sepa suru tdo ja kja semlm and td siang p GM lg.. luckily x p pekan, confirm x pndai pulg^^
wwooooohhooo!! i got a called all the way from Brunei... mmmmmuuuuaaahhhh hahaha~ punya gete sy ekekeke
after a week my phone silent from message and call from him ja lar..ekekeke
haiyaaa!! i am totally damn miss him so much dunno how to explain it
but i am surely all people out there who are falling in love know the feeling rite??^^
susa jg klu amik PJJ nie taw huhu padan muka sy..gatal sgt^^
klu dkt xpa lar jg
plg x best klu OS p brunei huhu
message 1 hal, pa lg call fulaaammmmaaakkk! payah geng..
1 msg da lar 60 sen pa lg call wwwuuuuaaahhhh bankrupt org!
klu c kwn p OS d brunei, 1 mggu mcm 1 thn plak ekekeke
sbb x msg & call bha
tp klu ari2 msg & call ada ja maw d gaduh ekeke..
kpd sesape yg tbaca blog nie ( bgs klu ada yg bca hehe^^) buat2 xtaw suda lar ar ttg content blog sy nie.. nie cuma tmpat sy meluahkan perasaan --> yalar! mna da org sudi dgr sy mbebel ari2, bgs g sy story2 ckit cni..
klu ada idea yg mcurah2 bru sy bgtaw lar tp klu x tue, nie je lar story2 sy nie.. (psl dunia sy) ekeke^^

My own

it's saturday evening
am sitting in front of lappy with blunted face
i just couldn't imagine my self cryin in front of my frens
how fool am i..huhu

i want to be strong
that's all i need
BUT
i was weak and alone
couldn't express my own thoughts
thing i can do is only pray
that the way where i can find PEACE

my mind was block with no idea at all
i am scared of my own self
i don't know what happen to me
i wish i can fix
but i'm drown
then

OkaY

Today's holiday --> 16th September and we were stuck all day long in our rented house or should i say ROOM huhu.. Doing our own task. Me of course with the earphone stuck in my ear watching House and listening my player ( could u imagine i watched movie and listening music at the same time?? hahaha) plus FB'ing (chat with mr.bf) and blogging^^.. Husna lying on bed with her own lappy and Michele did the same with Husna but she asleep after she convinced us she want to study hahaha^^
Yeah! Actually we all already promised to ourself yesterday that we want to start our study last night. But at last, we ended as SLEEPING BEAUTIES hahaha^^ and all the books still lock themselves inside our bag hehe..
OK! Then today we suppose to start our revision and yet we ended ourself by wasting our times once again! hahaha.. Daddy SEEEeeee!!! Mcm nie lar anak ko nie.. x pndai study hehe

Finally

hey my lil blog!
ur owner finally at Ipoh Perak right now..
Watched House in her lappy while blogging in this small room that she & her friends rented..
lalalalala~
Feeling like check-in hotel owh hehe^^
with aircond & the bathroom inside a room huhu what else i can say..
im lucky enough to have this room even it Quite expensive for ME --> RM200 per person & per month owh
lucky that there is no RATs running here & there while we were sleeping --> this happen to one of my friend while she doing her practical here
I can't imagine the rats running here & there, smiling or giggling at me while im sleeping or even worst tickle my toes ( eeeeeewwwwwhhhhhhh!!!!! help me world.. I can't stuck in one room with RATS eeeeeee!!! geli! )
OK! stop the story bout the rat.
let's continue with the mall here..^^
Since came here i'd visited only 2 malls that i can said quite near from us..
Greentown Mall & Ipoh Parade
Greentown Mall --> besar lg tue Megalong owh.. yg sy suka wafer dia murah compared d kolej & plus sna ada mobile city (i'm eye-ing Nokia E5, Nokia E72 & also SE Xperia there hahaha^^ murah ei.. gatal my tgn maw p bli suda hehehe^^ BUT yg x best mr.bf bg warned me not to buy those things or i will not get my own DSLR huhu) but he promised me to looked once he back from Brunei hehe^^ ada chan lar sy dpt hp bru nie kikikiki^^
lg sy suka sna ada bowling tp x cinema huhu..
Ipoh Parade --> nie tmpat kira dekat jg lar ma tmpt tgl pdhal maw ampus sy jln kaki huahuahua
sna ada apa ar??? mula2 msk sy rasa mcm d SOGO then xlama mcm d Mid & x lma mcm d 1B hahaha^^ penat kaki sy bjln nie..adei x smpt sy round habis..
yg sy smpat captured in mind ada GSC & Bowl, Marrybrown, Sushi King & byk lagi lar..
maw ja sy bgtaw ada kdai cina sna hahahaha^^
what else im gonna to let you know ar???
--> SOON! i need to learn how to naik bus here or sy jd papa kedana by next week!
ahaks!!
thanx to Husna for her kue raya..
syiok owh klu ada stock kue raya in front of ur eyes kan hahaha^^

This is All what i have

This is ALL what i have for the whole day of today!!
You can see and name it^^
OK! Because of boring day--> actually i've a lot of things to do example doing my research Questionnaire but i insist not to touch and look at it (it's holiday what!! so, my research too^^)
Below of this is all my breakfast + lunch + dinner pics^^
Meaning to say I eating only ONCE a day but that doesn't mean I am DIETING.
No! No! No! I'm in diet program?? --> what a big joke dude.. i never follow this diet program even i twice or many times did thinks of it . It's never work on me! huhu :(
Ok! Drums roll--->
Here we go...

A bowl of porridge and a glass of nescafe in front of my lappy.
Can u see my messy desk?^^ --> this girl is sssooo lazy

this is how my nescafe look like^^
2 teaspoon of nescafe + 5 teaspoon of coffee milk + 1 teaspoon of sugar
the taste???
hmmm a bit hard for someone who not a coffeeholic^^

what i put on my porridge?
jeng jeng jeng..
1. TUHAU --> this is sabahan traditional food and i like it soooo much
the taste seem marvelous to me (x taw lar klu sy sakit perut lps nie hehehe^^)
2. OYSTER
3. KETCHUP

and of course i finished it!!
Yummy!!
can u see the baby spoon inside the bowl?
am i cute because of using it hahahaha^^

Ode to Someone (1)

i learn how to have faith on you
since someone told me to do so
i know it's hard for me to have faith with someone
but i try too

since i had experienced in unsuccessful relationship
i never had faith to a man anymore
guess you the lucky one
but why you keep on testing me?

start the moment i gave you a chances
i promised to myself
not to be the OLD me
but somehow
you keep on challenged me
in all way

then i realize
there's no way
to keep this relationship
i am sorry

What Will U Bring Whilst Attending Open House

This morning i heard this topic while making bed. Peoples always love to come to their friends house if their are invited and got events example Hari Raya open house. Somehow, they don't know what to bring with them as a gift to the host/ their friend. Instead of coming without bring nothing why not we bring some gift.. --> tidak juga malu kan org tgk kan hehe

This is my suggestion.

1.--> Cupcakes

Why we don't bring cupcakes as a gift a.k.a buah tangan..Besides, everyone loves cupcake.
Either we made it by own or buy it at bakery^^

2.--> Angpow

Doesn't care how much you give as long as you sincere then
it's accepted -->besides, sepa maw tolak duit kan^^

3.--> Camera

My point here not to give camera as a gift--> gila kha? mahal bha nie
bring your camera along with you.. after that all the pics you can upload or print it out
then you can gave it as a gift to your friend (make an album for him/her)

4.--> Hamper

This is what people always give whilst attending open house.
No need the expensive one, you can make a simple hamper for your friends
example a fruits maybe^^

p/s: so which one you choose?? it's up to you my dear.. yang penting hati ikhlas and depends on budget juga.. if poket not enough money don't push yourself.. ^^ if no money i mean totally don't have then you can come with your smile^^ <-- nie memang slalu sy buat nie hehe^^ @@ i'm student what~

unintention

yup! like the title above..
just now--> x sengaja jmpa blog coursemate^^
ayat? hebat + cool + sadis jer dia pnya pgunaan bahasa
tp like she said --> who care.. that's her own blog

tp mmg menyengat gler lar blog dia tue..
yg paling bkesan dlm ati, dia admit dia tue --> im a backstabber <--

tfikir trus..
sy tmasuk kha dlm list org yg dia x suka tue? *wink*wink
ada aku kesah?-->hihi pnjam ayat member tue dlu @@
btl2 lar tmpat luahan atie & perasaan dia plak dlm blog tue^^
mcm sy x? hahahaha--> not really lar.. ^^

it's my life

lol!
like bon jovi's song hehe..^^
yup! it's my life
and it's now or never
i just want to live while i'm alive
so------> EAT & EAT
that's my life for today ^^
woke up at 10am--> heaven oo my world like diz
done my laundry at 1pm --> washed wif my own hands okieeeee~
brunch wif mr.maggie & mr.Toblerone around 3pm --> student's life ^^
went to bazar ramadhan wif roomate & Veron around 5.15pm --> i bought nasi kerabu, ikan pari bakar, karipap & of cos my drink is HoneyDew ^^ (punya kuat mkn nie budak^^@@)

* no wonder i gained weight during holiday--> eat + sleep + lappy + eat + sleep activities ^^

mr.bf & car

mr.bf: syg, bumper keta patah?
me: huh! wat happen? pa jg ko langgar nie n bla bla bla bla
mr.bf: dunno. mcm anjing tp bkn anjing.. woi! len kali tnya sy slmat kha x n bla bla bla
me: hehe.. sori syg my fault.. bha, smbg blk ceta td.. mcm anjing tp bkn anjing? mksd ko?
mr.bf: mcm itu tasu bha limpas tp mcm bkn..
me: ko drive laju kha?
mr.bf: x lar time tue ujan bha..
me: mati kha? ko ada turun p tgk?
mr.bf: xtaw sy x tgk..
me: bduh! napa ko x p tgk?
mr.bf: ko lar bduh! org sumarat suda ko maw lg suru p tgk..
me: wakakakakaka ko pun penakut kha?
mr.bf: kwsan utan bha tue syg mna da org tggl sna.. lg pun kul 2 pg bha tue..
me: mna taw ada bkn ko nmpak..
mr.bf: cuba gia ko sna jgn kasi takut2 sy.. tenggiling bha kali tue..
me: hahahah pndai ja ko ckp tenggiling sna.. klu ko langgar org mcm mna?
mr.bf: ko support sy kha itu benda nie? (geram suda nie sora dia)
me: nah! itu lar ko.. ko janji sma sy last week maw p church this week tp ko x p..
mr.bf: mangkali lar tue kan.. sy maw p church suda nie.. lps blk dr brunei..
me: bha ko p smbyg lar time ko d brunei bha..
mr.bf: org kja bha mcm na maw p church.. ingt sna tgh laut ada church kha?
me: hehe.. sy lupa bha syg ko p offshore hehe.. bha,jgn lupa kama janji ko maw p church tue..
mr.bf: sendiri ko x p..
me: sy ada janji kha maw p? (pdhal dlm ati malu suda nie)

moral of the story: jgn ingat TUHAN time susah sja..

give it up

today i had stomach cramp again!
it happen almost everyday and early in the morning and will last end of the day
i dunno what actually happen to me.. sigh!
i thought it was my paranoid syndrome attacked me--> exam day
but since my exam is over and this pain cramp not over yet i wonder why..

@@

just call my family
really missed them --> especially mummy daddy & daughter conversation (",)
i really miss it --> lucky to have open minded parents
and thanx to God that mr.Grandpa getting better day by day..
and i almost cry when i heard his hope to me..

* mr.Grandpa want to do home renovation and funny to heard his reason why he want to do renovation--> x lama lg si terra kena tunang suda hahahaha
lol! ntah lar bila sy maw tunang nie.. mr.Grandpa lg taw dr tuan pnya badan hehe

Between hate & love

--> currently stuck in lazy mode
--> especially doing my research
--> but not as a novel addicted hehe
--> craving on kek lapis sarawak@@ yummy2!!
--> missing Baby Ryan & Baby Mich like hell
--> a bit nervous bout practical
--> havin' stomachache this whole day huhu
--> had argument with mr.bf since last nite
--> received my new lens this day (mx21 black wooo!!!)
--> not enough sleep since 3 days ago

im not ..

i'm not MERDEKA yet huhu even my exam just over this evening huhu..

RESEARCH!!!! you killing me arghhhhh!

--> baru b'angan2 nak lepas dendam this nite (sleep like no more days left ekekeke)
--> look like i need to mirroring me myself in front of u mr.Lappy for the whole nite i guess huhu
--> alike start doing my research i personally more likely doing my blogging and of cos

my OTFB + OTTwitter hehe

@@

hey baby!!
i can't wait my parcel arrival tomorrow hehe

--> my new lens MX21
- i wonder how do i look wearing those lens hahaha weirdo i guess--> who cares,rite? lalala~
--> and also my yummy milky secret
- i dunno how to explain this kind of things lar konon2 but wait and see saja lar kio hahaha
- my target is 1 week from tomorrow or maybe start from this sat

My Day

i remember what my lecturer said last Monday, she said " class, do your revision OTPK and OTAK and i don't want anyone of you study OTFB..
her word til now keep on buzzing my head
cos unlike doing revision OTPK and OTAK
i'm instead did revise my OTFB, OTTwitter and OTBlogging hahaha
--> mcm mna lar maw lulus nie klu kejadian dia mcm nie huhu

today my class like always did OTFB tutorial
and the topic of cos laughing at peoples behavior
i did try to focus on my revision
but sorry to say i am easily distracted with my environments huhu
how poor my attention span
and if not the environment factors
the problem occurred because of my biological clock
--> daydreaming!!!
that's my initial crass behavior
what intervention can i do to treat my own crass behavior??
@-@

ok! back to OTFB tutorial today..
they showed video untitled (actually it have but i dunno hehe)
but it's all about babies world
and of cos the video make me emo this day huhu..
how i wish me myself at my home sweet home
playing with the babies in the house
--> mama,missed both of you dear ~Ryan & Dylan
@-@

Sorry my dear blog

it's been a long time i didn't visit my blog..
sorry baby.. i was too lazy to update u..
ok!
now, let me do sharing here
( sharing is caring bha kan hehe)

i am happy because

• ada newborn baby sana uma - Baby Dylan Michiro (betul kha sy eja nie?) --> bila lar mama can meet u this huhu
  
• abg Rio sudah engage - yeah! thn dpn ada aramai tii sna uma n wlcome to the family Kak Ida
  
• me in sem 5 already - yeah! thn dpn maw grad suda ( bule kawen suda ekekeke) --> confirm klu mum sy baca nie,kna timbak sy ekekeke
  
• me & roomate punya bisnes bjalan agak lancar jg - yeah! ada side income suda (x sbr maw kaya ekekeke)
  
• last but not least --> mr.bf is always by my side ekekeke (maw jg sy announce tp sy malu ekekeke)

yg wat sy x happy

• maw p practical setting suda lg - peads bha this sem so meaning dia sem nie mmg susah plus dpt hsptl yg susah maw dpt markah tggi huhu
  
• my research belum siap lg - gara2 keMalasan & otak terlampaw byk idea so xtaw maw wat mcm mna.. mcm mna lar sy maw grad thn dpn nie? huhu
  
• ada stalker dlm hidup sy - haish!! ini lar sy x suka nie.. klu sy cntik xpa jg ini hodoh ja... apa bha ko maw dr sy ar??? ( mcm penat suda sy tnya nie soalan ma tue org & of cos jwpan dia is SCARY to me)
  
• maw exam lg - ini lar yg PALING sy x suka.. knapa lar every sem ada exam.. mcm sy rasa sy pandai suda bla tgk itu notes tp bla exam susa jg lar maw jawab hehehe

yg wat sy broken hearted

• duit elaun buku x masuk2 lg jd sy x bule wat shopping2 day wat masa nie huhu (sabar ja lar)
  
• sy x dpt blk time cuti raya sbb tiket mahal & even ada org sggup sponsor(mr.Daddy) tp biar lar.. kesian nnt bil kredit kad my mr.Daddy melambung --> pdhal sy x sggup bayar balik hehe
  
• sy maw bli dslr tp blm kesampaian even ari tue sy p survey2 harga dia mmg byk promo skrg tp mr.Bf x bg bli huhu (mcm lar sy mnta dia duit bha huhu) --> tambah skt ati dia suda ada toys bru.. sy???

too many suda sy sharing caring nie..hehehe
next time lg sy sharing is caring ar..

p/s: my friends noticed my acne hilang sudah hehe.. x lama lg sy jadi cute suda lar nie kan ekekeke
apa rahsia anda???? ahaks!!! tggu sy cantik lu lar baru sy share hehehe <--prasan kan!!!

RSVP

i was listening to RSVP's song

and suddenly
this 3 words pop out from my mind
I LOVE U!!!
yes! that 3 words that hard to came out from my
very own mouth
i need to be open to myself now
i want to say those words to someone
but it's really awkward to say it hahaha~
damn me i guess LoL~
then darling, i guess i just write it down
to let u know
(",)

love me no matter what

i was looking plus reading my own blog
while listening to
Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You
*so touchy*huhu~
and i found this words at my love gadget

Three primary ingredients of a successful relationship - Love, Trust and Respect

and i wonder did my relationship based on those three ingredients ~ love,trust and respect??

Love
For me this is a strange feeling that can be one of the most amazing in all the world. Sometimes the emotions associated with love are blissful, and there are times when they can really hurt. Mostly all the time actually. When in love automatically we are ready to let our self be hurt (really??? ayoyo~) we are giving him/her the power to break our heart, but trusting them not to. This is what we called interpersonal love.

Trust
For me this is happen between both emotional and logical act. We trust someone because we have faith.
By trust, we let him/her to take advantage of our vulnerabilities but expecting they will not do this.. If i trust him, will he gave me earth?? If i betray his trust what will happen? Hunt me to the ends of the earth?
*trust*trust*trust
i need to glue the words in my mind cos' i am the person who is not trust anyone except myself (^_^)

Respect
For me, respect me and i respect you. Enough!! Simple to be with me,rite?? ~lalalala~

so conclusion that i can make here are i may be in love with him but i not trust him and i do respect him cos' he respect me but he might lose if he didn't handle me with care (^_^) i'm fragile what!! hahaha
so love me no matter what cos i was made
to be loved and understood

love

~valentine day~
he called late at night to wish
to say how much he loved
how much he cared
and
how much he missed
by telling all
that
i just realize
'i got u'
but
bear in mind
am scared of losing u

when the three words appear
just wanna add it "too"
but
it stuck
and i know
u're dissapointed
i'm sorry
i can't let myself too
the words is so meaningful to me
and i want to keep it
til the right time

deep inside
hope u know
hope u understand
what my feeling are
my action speaks louder
than what
my heart saying..

truth of my heart~

look!
i don't know how to say the word
I LOVE U
but
if u know
if u can see
what my heart saying
then u know
that words
always
for u

thinking time

after a long conversation with my friend, i was
touched. i know we were same (thinking and action).
and the conversation also took me to
flashback bout my relationship with my teddy bear
and even my ex huhu..
what actually i want in my relationship?
as a human being, of cos' i will answer i want to love and being love,
to care and being care, to share ups and downs with him,
and to be with him live happily ever after.
but inside me said, she want him!!
conquer everything bout him.
that was my evil side..
*sigh*
i wonder how long this relationship will go.
i'm scared of losing him.*sigh*
this girl just recover from her heart-broken and if she have to
face the same situation once again, she might lost!
healing process take time..
i need to admit it hehe..
flashback to 2007~
every single minute i blamed why i supposed to
met and knowing my ex.
every night before sleep i prayed to god
to gave me strength to forget him.
every single hours i was thinking why
i can't forget him and why i can't let him go.
that was me in 2007 til middle of the 2008.
flashback to 2008~
i met new guy.
we start our relationship as a friend.
suddenly it knock my door.*sigh*
but
i let him go cos i know
i'm not him.
2009~
met this guy..
he look ok to me hehe~
i dunno where he got my no but now i know
he got it from my friend.
i lied to him about my status
as a married woman with 2 children
(seriously, i dunno why i lied to him) hehe~
but he continuously callin' and text me
with the excuse as a friend, even i never reply his text.
keep advice me bout everything make me felt irritating
bout him.
but when hard moment
he is the one who pops in front of me.
he never brought up the past.
he is there just for me.
i was feel like why him and why not
someone else.
i promise to myself to give me and him
a chance if he ask hahaha~
and YES he asked me..
and
there is a new story, new chapter,
new love and new me start..
ME and Mr.Teddy Bear
and now the fear of losing him haunt me
that what i called PARANOID!!
huhuhuhuhu :(
*sigh*

p/s: dy,u so ja'at with me owh.. why u made me become paranoid huhu~
*paranoid- fear of losing

have fun

today's one of my colleague birthday..
so happy birthday to saadah (",)
she was lucky cos the class
sang a birthday song 4 times..
i wish my birthday
also like that..hehe
but
unfortunately
my birthday on semester break
so that's mean no one will sing for me..

during pn sham class today,
we learn how to conduct
role play and psychodrama
in psychiatric field~
it's so fun
to watched 'em act
(^_^)

other news are..
our class got new curtain
hahaha~
it's floral!!!
full of flower hahaahaha
like English home concept..

p/s: am not feeling well.. coughed attackin' me huhu :(
same to my d too..

psy class

been in psychiatric class
make me felt that i am lucky
to be normal~
feel pity to them who are unlucky..

funny to heard about them
but at the same time sad
to think bout their journey..

they don't want to be like that
but
because of the extreme fear
maybe i should call it
PHOBIA
their tend to be one
of the
psychiatric patient..

p/s: placing clinical this time i choose kedah and penang..
dunno which one i will get it.. i just hope i can make it..
i want to choose my hometown for elektif but the placing
still not open.. huhu :(

today~

my class start today..
we got bk 4 i guess
so small compared to our class last sem
huhu~
nvm lar we only using this class for 11 weeks only
then we go clinical placing once again..

friends??
hmmm~ quite ok lor..
still early sem so i didn't expecting more..
just wait and see lor..

my d???
hmm~
today, we got some misunderstood
huhu~
we just normal couple..
sometimes ok and sometimes not
hehe~
but for sure..
i miss him
hehe~

two a.m

yeap!! it's 2 a.m
and i'm stuck here at lcct
sittin' at mcD
in front of my lappy
with the eyes became small and small
am tryin' not to asleep

waitin' her here
yes!! i'm waitin someone
haha~ roomate why u so late????
hohoho~

bloggin' here alone
with no one i know
is the 1st time experienced
pity on me huhu~

guess what?
kek lapis swk is waitin for me at hostel...
hahaha~

lol!!
i forgot to mention here~
i cannot eat seafood
and popo said she want me to eat vege only
huhu~
vegetarian?????
i can't imagine i'm a vege at 2010
*sigh*
BUT
i can imagine the new me
at the end of the year
muaahahaha~
LoL!!!

New Year 2010

happy new year!!
new year
new age
new resolution
haha~

flashed back my conversation with my bestfriend~

T: gal,what is ur resolution this year?
M: no 1, i want a boyfriend (laugh).. U?
T: (laugh) i don't need that
M: remember our promised?
T: yes, of cos'
M: i think we should decrease our weight
T: (laugh) yes,i agree with u..
since that was ur target since sem 1
M: this sem we need to make it
T: ok,later we buy shoes
M: yup,at kl k

funny to think about resolution
every year we need to do this
it was like a tradition to us
huhu~
but does we make the resolution succeed?
haha~
80% is no *sigh*

for me, every year i made the same wish
but i should take a challenge for this year
so, i decide to change my resolution
hahaha~
perhaps, i can do it!!
gudluck,gal!!!