Another Hate

Just woke up from sleep.
And roommate continue her sleep after I asked her to do so.
I know we in a same boat. But I salute her because she can manage her stress very well.
Not like me. I need to admit that my coping skills is very poor.
Everytime the stressful hitting me, what can I do just blame myself and cry.
That's the only way that I found can make me calm.
I know it's wrong, but I need to admit that I followed my own flow.
That's the only way I can gain my own strength. The way I found myself calm.
The way I give sensory input to my brain.
The way I make myself keep on thinking.
Keep on aware.
Keep on hating this place.

There's a lot of work waiting for us.
But can I blame ourself not to do that?
Our body, mind and spirit are totally damn tired.
We need to re-energize them..
We need a rest.
Maybe a week of holiday.
Maybe a short time of practical.
Maybe a few works only.
Maybe a changeable placement.
Maybe a switching therapist in charge.
Or
Maybe it's time for us to go back to college...
I wish I'm in college right now.
Attending my class. Listen to my tutor mumbling in front.
Watching my friends sleeping while classes.
Re-join my buddies laughing and teasing each other.
How I love being around them.
How I love being secure.
Not here!
Not in this place I called Hell Placement!
Not here!
Place that I can't found my security and trust.